Our connections are now more important than ever
June 18, 2020 by Lisa Bywaters
As a species we’re social creatures. We need our tribe – whether it’s a large extended family group and lots of friends, a small intimate group of nearest and dearest, or somewhere in between. We need our connections.
I think that’s one of the hardest things we’ve had to deal with during this pandemic. We’ve been forced to change how we connect with others. We kept away from our people for months, and now that we can gather, we’re told to keep a distance, don’t touch, hug or shake hands. It feels so unnatural.
That’s the insidiousness of this virus. It’s infiltrated our world and affected the very fabric of our connectedness.
I need to make a confession – I’m incredibly sad as I write this blog. My aunt died today. She was a beloved mother, sister, grandmother, aunt and – like me – a crazy cat lady. She’s been unwell for quite some time, and I haven’t been able to see her for months. With isolation and the very real risk of spreading the virus to someone who was already so unwell, it was not a risk we could take.
And so she died, this wonderful, kind, most incredibly well-read woman. Without all of her family around her. And I’m so very sad.
I know I’m not unique in this situation. So many people have died during this pandemic – due to COVID-19 as well as the many other reasons people leave our world every single day. But sitting at home on a cold Sunday afternoon, I can’t help but reflect on how terribly sad this whole situation is.
We’ve missed, and will continue to miss, our celebrations and milestones. Weddings have been postponed. Babies have been born with far less fanfare than would normally happen. Special birthdays have been and gone without the usual fuss. Students have finished courses, aced exams or have mastered a difficult skill without the jubilant gathering of family and friends to celebrate. And funerals have occurred with only a small number of mourners allowed to attend in person.
And it’s not only the milestones and celebrations we’re missing. It’s the small events, the little encounters that go to the very heart of who we are. The big events are important, but the small things, the everyday incidental stuff with workmates, neighbours, friends, family – they’re the things that make our lives rich.
So we need to find ways to ensure our milestones, gatherings, phone calls, video chats and every day encounters carry as much joy, love, sadness, real emotion and connection as they possibly can.
Celebrate and bask in the little things. Share your day – the highs and lows with your partner/kids/closest friend – and really listen as they do the same. Take time to sit and reflect on what’s been happening in your life and those close to you. Even though it may feel like life is moving slowly at the moment, it’s moving quickly – can you believe it’s almost the end of June? – and so much can happen in a day, a week, a month. Don’t let these moments pass you by.
Tell those close to you how much they mean to you. Extend that support and kindness beyond your own bubble to those you encounter at the supermarket, when you’re driving, talking with your child’s teacher, or when you’re in a work meeting. We’re all dealing with all kinds of stuff – big and small – so let’s discard the petty annoyances and frustrations.
We’re still some way from finding a vaccine or treatment for this virus. It’s vital we continue to support and care for each other in this new normal we live in.
Life is short, and although it’s changed so dramatically, we have so much to be thankful for.
Contact our free national Help Line
If you have questions about things like COVID-19, your musculoskeletal condition, treatment options, telehealth, managing your pain or accessing services be sure to call our nurses. They’re available weekdays between 9am-5pm on 1800 263 265; email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or via Messenger.
If this article has raised some issues with you or you feel like you need help during this stressful time, there’s help available. Contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 for 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention.
More to explore
It’s okay to feel sad
Better Health Channel
Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash